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Homework of the Month: Move it or Lose it!

During the next week, when either of you find yourself doing x (x= engaging in the problem behavior we have been discussing), stop immediately, and move to a different location and begin again engaging in the problem behavior. If you are in the house, take it to another room, or go outside; if you are in the car, pull over and take it somewhere outside the car, if you are in public somewhere, move it to another place. — L.


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Homework of the Month– Surprise!!

HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT OF THE MONTH: “I’ve got a two part assignment for you this week. Between now and the next time we get together (my favorite intro), I’d like you to plan AND make happen at least one surprise for your partner*, something he or she wouldn’t expect from you. It can be more than one, but it needs to be at least one. That’s part one. Part two is that you need to be watching for what it is that your partner is doing that is a surprise to you. But, and this is important, both the surprises, and the watching for surprises, are to be done covertly, undercover work, as it were. Your surprises are not to be announced, or even admitted to. In fact, for this week only, feel free to lie right to your partner’s face and deny what you are doing is one of these “planned surprises”. Then, next session, we’ll start by seeing how you each did at noticing surprises, what you noticed, and maybe hear what you missed. So again, part one is to do a surprise or more, and part two is to be on the lookout for surprises. Any questions?”.– L.

*Throughout this blog, the terms partner/spouse/lover etc. may be used interchangably, and used with your own clients as you see fit.

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Hello world!

Welcome to Homework for Couples, an interactive community of couples therapists, dedicated to free-sharing our ideas, successes and even failures, specifically focused on homework assignments given to our clients.  See About Homework for more details, but in short, our purpose is to share, and improve the work we do with couples.  So, I’ll start:

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